Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Tell the Truth.

"Why do we always say we're fine,
when it's obviously we're lying?
Why don't we ever tell the truth,
what do we got to lose?"
- When The Time Comes, The Classic Crime
Hello my WONDERFUL readers!
I want you to STOP reading this for a moment...
LISTEN to this song...
A DEAR friend of mine,
(she's prolly doing "HAPPY, EXCITING hands... :) )
Introduced me to this BAND
and I am more GRATEFUL that she did
because of THIS moment.
This song has been a product of GOD'S perfect timing.
This past week has been the HARDEST of my life.
One of my friends has been going through a very DIFFICULT time.
As a friend and a person who is very EMPATHETIC and
CARES very much about my friends,
this has been EXTREMELY hard on me.
if you have SEEN me in the past week,
you may have NOTICED I haven't been myself.
This is WHY.
I have come to BELIEVE that
if your INWARD emotions, etc.,
become visible OUTWARDLY,
there is a PROBLEM.
it wasn't until a DEAR friend here
POINTED this out to me
and we came to the CONCLUSION
that this was the CAUSE.
I am NOT blaming my friend.
I feel that blame is IRRELEVANT at this point and pointless.
Though HEALING will take much time for my friend,
and for a WHILE,
I thought it was the SAME for me,
SHARING in their pain and everything.
But the HEALING has begun.
The pain on my part is GONE.
I HURT for my friend
but not nearly as bad and CONSUMING
as it was BEFORE.
I am FREE.
I PRAY that they will be too.
Thank you very much for your PRAYERS.
Thank you for your GUIDANCE.
This whole EXPERIENCE has brought something to my attention.
Why cannot we be REAL?
A SWEET friend of mine here
told me that she had to get READY for something
after BREAKING down,
saying, "I am expected to be PERFECT."
What is this WORLD coming to?
Where we are EXPECTED to wear the MASK?
To HIDE our true selves?
What if we put ourselves OUT there,
What if we ACCEPTED people,
I think this would DRASTICALLY change the world.
People could know the TRUTH,
People could get the HELP they need,
People could LIVE!
I DREAM of this world.
I dream of UNCOVERING masks.
SHOWING people that who they are,
though the world may not ACCEPT them,
DON'T need man's approval
but RATHER have been
WRAPPED in the abundantly loving arms
This is what i DREAM of...
Will you JOIN me as I dream?
Will you help me make it a REALITY?
When you PASS by someone,
and THEY say:
and YOU respond with:
"Hi! How are YOU?"
and they SAY:
"GOOD! and you?"
YOU? you:
Tell them the HONEST truth!
"What have we got to LOSE?"
Thank you for READING :)
This has been on my mind ALOT lately.
THought I would share it with the THREE people
who ACTUALLY read this :)
You all are a BLESSING to my life.
I LOVE you all and
I hope you know that you are LOVED.
DESPITE what it holds.
Amy :)

Friday, December 05, 2008

Nothing without this All

It's been QUITE some time, hasn't it?
what? like two weeks, HUH?
too too LONG
But I haven't seemed to HAVE the time...
FIRST off,
Thanksgiving was WONDERFUL :)
GREAT time with family and friends.
At the SAME time though,
I REALIZED something...
I have places I CALL home and everything.
But when I am AT those places,
I find myself LONGING to be elsewhere.
I have found no CONTENTMENT in where I am in place.
It was quite the DISAPPOINTING realization.
Inside I am still SEARCHING for that one place where I am fully content.
Right now, only ONE place can come to mind.
C. S. Lewis put it quite FITTINGLY:
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
I have felt very CLOSE to this verse recently,
not necessarily in instance of LOCATION,
but rather an instance of LIFE.
I find myself FOREIGN.
But Christ said I would be as an ALIEN to this world...
I NOW know the feeling...
It was GREAT to see everyone back home,
it was familiar and yet different and COMFORTABLE :)
If ANYONE back home reads this,
First off, THANKS for reading this,
secondly, I am BLESSED to have all of you in my life:)
I missed EVERYONE back here at CBU too.
It was like I left a LIFE back here.
I LOVE these people here,
I feel like God has PLACED them in my life
and they are an EXTREME blessing to me
especially through this VERY difficult semester.
This past week has been the HARDEST week I would say.
From getting LESS than 4 hours of sleep between Sunday and Monday night,
A 6 hour-long trip back to CBU to be to class that SAME morning,
To two papers and friends who have been in PAIN.
The last one really is not a PROBLEM for me
or one that those people should BLAME themselves for.
We did a STRENGTHS test for one of our Freshman classes,
I have the strength of EMPATHY.
What that means is that I CARE and
can practically FEEL
the pain/joy that others FEEL.
Kind of STRANGE, I know.
Its not ANYONE'S fault,
thats just how I'm WIRED.
I haven't found a steady BALANCE yet,
but am WORKING on that.
I know I may have WORRIED some of you,
but this is PRACTICALLY what has been bothering me.
I am blessed with EVERYONE who comes in my life
and not one of those people are in my life by MISTAKE.
Thank you for your ENCOURAGEMENT :)
Please keep in PRAYER myself and those who are in pain.
On a LIGHTER note,
I SURVIVED this week :)
I go HOME in 14 days :)
I also have wonderful FRIENDS both back home and at CBU :)
I don't know where I would be WITHOUT any of you.
I am also grateful for my FAMILY :)
you guys ROCK my socks :)
(yes... I do wear socks...) ;)
I serve a God whose love is ABUNDANT.
I serve a God who is in CONTROL.
I serve a God who UNDERSTANDS.
I serve a God who has a REASON.
I am HIS.
So with ALL that being said,
ALL of that...
so LONG...
TREASURE each breath that you were given for a reason :)
LOVE you all and
THANK you so much for reading
Especially when I write freakin BOOKS like this :)
Amy :)