I may be Torn, but I'm Never alone, and Neither are You...

I am really homesick right now...

I miss my family and friends and just the familiarity of it all. Today school got closed for spring snow blizzards. If you are from CA, its that white fluffy stuff that some of you have never seen ;) They are expecting 6-12+ inches of snow... oh to at least SEE some snow right now. I've been deprived this past year I guess ;)

But to be honest, I don't know if going back home will cure me of homesickness. Things change, I change. I anticipate going home in may but at the same time, kind of dread having to move back totally back home. This past year has been wonderful, being on my own. Plus, i don't know how all of my stuff will fit in my room... ;) But most of all, I dread leaving this wonderful and beautiful place full of Christ followers in community. The friends I have made here are such an extreme blessing that leaving here and not seeing them and enjoying and experiencing life with them saddens me greatly; especially when there is the possibility of not returning to CBU next fall.

So this leaves me torn. Torn between two places I call home and I wonder if I will ever truly be content anywhere here on earth. But one thing that I am extremely grateful for beyond belief is the certainty that wherever I go, however torn I feel when it comes to being home and the people that I love, I know I never go alone. My Savior and Loving Lord walks with me every step of the way, showing me which way to go, showing me what it means to live like He lived, love like He loves, and suffer as He did, showing me what it means when he came to give us "life and life to the full."

He is my Comfort,

He is my Peace,

He is my Love.

He is my Hope,

He is my Purpose,

He is the Reason I live,

He is the Name I live and die to glorify.

He is my Life.

I pray He becomes my ALL.

I pray that I become non-existent in the presence of Christ in my life.

I pray that I am consumed by His love and all that He is and wants for me.

but I know I am never alone.

One of my favorite songs right now is by Mat Kearney called Call Me.

I want this to be a song to my friends to know that through everything, I will be here.

But as I listen to it again and realize how my humanity may cause me to not keep my promise to my friends, only Christ.

I now listen to the chorus anew:

"When the morning sun comes

You'll know I didn't run

'Cause when the rain came

It still never changed

Through the laughter and the tears

The pain and my fears

I'll stay, I'll wait right here"

I so long to be this kind of friend to those around me.

But I know that even if I can't, Christ can (though God doesn't get scared ;)).

while I try to be this friend to you,

let this resonate in you and realize that He never leaves your side.

Thanks for reading again :)

I have just felt the desire to write lately.

who knows... I may blog again tomorrow :)

I'm thinkin a few Song Blogs are due :)

Grateful for what God has done,

Amy <3