Today was a big day for me.
it was kind of one of the big ways I got to see God use the pain and turmoil that I faced four months ago... practically to the day. It will be four months ago tomorrow that one of the scariest nights of my life occurred when I feared for my friend's life. But here I am and they are alive. I serve a God that never ceases to amaze me. I have moments and hours and days that I just walk around in this awe-ful mood. Full of awe for what God has done in my life the past year because frankly, if I were to plan my life, it would put ME to sleep. God writes the plans of my life WAY better. I have no doubt especially now that "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it" and will fulfill his promise to bring you "life to the full." Trust your Maker. I know that's easier said than done but it will change your life (mess it up, whichever ;) ).
So about today :) I have been working on a research project in my English class this semester that is pretty much a reactive response to what happened those four months ago. The painful memories are a little bit easier to deal with today than they were when I first began writing this paper. Some moments I couldn't research or write anymore because it brought back such painful memories and put me in a state of a sort of depression. But here I am today. I presented my findings to my class today. it was on the degrees of self-mutilation ranging from tattooing and piercing to cutting. It wasn't a *happy* presentation; but it was needed. Four months ago, I wish that I had known these things. I want to create awareness and bring hope and love.
I didn't expect the outcome that I did. My teacher, who has been guiding me throughout this, responded well and so did my peers, which I was frankly surprised by. I was told it was great (and if you have experienced my speeches before, you know I'm not the next great speaker of America ;)) and that it made them think. I felt that the pain wasn't in vain, finally. That in a period of about 15 minutes, the pain found worth. I serve an amazing God. I still have to write the paper, but I think now that it has now things have found completion though I don't believe that God is done using this pain yet. Yes, I serve an amazing God. My heart sings. Only God can bring a heart that cried in fear and pain four months ago to bring it to sing in His Glory. My God is Amazing.
Ps. 118:23- "The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes."
Thank you for reading and taking this journey with me,
Til next time,
Amy <3
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